You will not find a bigger fan of Fantasy Football in Clarksville than me. As of this blog I am already in NINE different leagues, and I’m sure I’ll add at least 3 more before the regular season kicks off.

So having said that, let me tell you before anyone else does.

NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR F**KING FANTASY FOOTBALL TEAM!

Not your wife/husband. Not your co-workers. Not the poor waiter at Harbor Cafe waiting for you to make up your mind on what to stuff down your throat.

I can’t stress that enough. NO. ONE. CARES.

And it stinks. Because we WANT to talk about our teams. Especially the “Let Me Tell You How Awesome My Draft Was” Guy who will inevitably finish in the Toilet Bowl because they’re as efficient on the waiver wire as 1 ply is after you binged some Taco Bell after an all night drinking session. But alas, none of us care about your team.

I know you want to talk about how you stole that Running Back off the waivers when the star went down with a season ending injury, but no one cares.

I know you want to gloat about how your WR3 who everyone mocked you for taking 5 rounds too early just went OFF against the 3rd worst pass defense in the league, but no one cares.

And I KNOW you want to talk about how you’re absolutely crushing it in your family league where you just beat your brother-in-law so bad that it has caused tension between him and you sister, but say it with me, NO ONE CARES.

It’s crushing knowing that we’re all playing, but you have to understand, we only care about OUR team. As I said before, I’m in 9 leagues. Chances are, most of those leagues I’m going to be rooting against myself every weekend. Pair that with watching my favorite team be the physical embodiment of suck, I just don’t have the emotional strength, nor energy, to give two craps about your squad “There Is No D In Fantasy”.

Best of luck this season. I hope you win your league. Unless you’re in one with me. Then I hope all the bad things this season happen to your team and only your team.