CLARKSVILLE, TN (CLARKSVILLE NOW) – “She was my best friend; she really was my best friend, and I miss her a lot,” Ann Lazu said of her daughter, Michelle Shadé Lazu, tearfully.

In March, Shadé, 28 and a mother of four, died in a five-car wreck on U.S. 41A Bypass on March 15. Three others were injured, and the driver from Smyrna who allegedly caused the wreck was charged with vehicular homicide.

While the holiday season for most means getting together with loved ones and friends, the Lazu family is experiencing their first without a big piece of their lives. Now Ann, left to take care of two of Shadé’s four children full-time along with a young child of her own, said she wants to gives the children the Christmas their mom would have given them.

‘She really saved me’

Ann said that before Shadé was born, she was running with the wrong crowd. She was just 17 when she found out she was pregnant, and she said having Shadé changed her life.

“I had asked God for a little girl, and when she was born, and they told me she was a little girl, I was like, ‘Oh my God, I got what I wanted,’ because I told him … I promised him that I would take care of her, and I would do the best I could to keep her safe and protected,” Ann said.

“She was what made me go on a better path,” Ann said. “She really saved me.”

Ann said that as a young, single mother, it was hard for her to make ends meet. The pair moved into their first apartment when Shadé was about 4 years old, and that first Christmas is one Ann will never forget.

Her neighbors had left a note on their apartment door telling them to come over and knock, and Ann said she and her young daughter were surprised with a Christmas tree.

“We brought it into our apartment and we just looked at it, and I’m like ‘Baby, we don’t have any decorations, or anything like that,'” Ann said.

The pair went to the Dollar Store down the street, and with the few dollars Ann had, they bought lights, popcorn, Kix cereal, flour and food dye. They returned home and made ornaments and decorated the tree.

“It was so pretty, and we look at it, and we’re like, ‘We’re missing something for the top of the tree,'” Ann said.

Ann said Shadé had some Strawberry Shortcake dolls, so Shadé offered one of them, and, along with a white stocking, a roll of toilet paper and a wire coat hanger, they fashioned their angel.

“Two years ago, we gave her a little makeover because she was kind of looking rough,” Ann said with a laugh. “Every year since then, we’ve been putting it on the Christmas tree to remind us where we came from, where we started.”

She was planning on giving Shadé the angel this year, but now she plans to give it to Shadé’s daughter Shadianna. For now, the angel sits in a glass box in Ann’s living room, which has been decked out with Christmas decorations.

Small reminders

Shadé left behind four children, 10-year-old Henry Shannon, 6-year-old Marcel Shannon, 4-year-old Shadianna and 2-year-old Isaiah.

“They all have characteristics of her, so it’s like I don’t have just one of her, I have four,” Ann said. “She really was a great mom, she was always doing things with the kids on her days off.”

Shadé inherited her mom’s love of the holidays, and she enjoyed the time spent with her kids and family. Ann said she and Shadé’s children are grieving the loss, but small reminders have made Ann feel like Shadé is still with them.

Ann has three other daughters, and one of them recently gave birth to a baby girl.

“So I went and I texted her stepsister in Nashville, and I was typing down how many pounds and ounces she was, and 8 pounds 6 ounces, and my heart dropped and I started crying because her big sister’s birthday, Shadé’s birthday, was Aug. 6,” Ann said.

Shadé’s sister named her baby Selena Shadé. Selena was Shadé’s favorite singer.

Community help

Clarksville Police Lt. Vincent Lewis started a Christmas GoFundMe for the family. He’s worked on her case, and he said the story of the Lazu family tugged at his heartstrings.

“It’s the tender age of the children, and this is what compassion in law enforcement is really about,” Lewis told Clarksville Now. “I could not experience this type of loss – I couldn’t wrap my mind around what (Ann) is dealing with and the adjustments she’s had to make in her personal life and with her finances.”

Shadé’s children also participated in CPD’s Shop with a Cop event. Ann said the kids got just about everything they wanted – so much that they are donating the overflow to help others in need.

“We’re going to go through their clothes and stuff like that and donate them to Kentucky because of the tornadoes,” Ann said.

Any leftover money from the GoFundMe will be used for the children and to continue her daughter’s tradition of taking her kids on family weekend excursions.